Way Of The Heart – Guide 5 – The Role Real Friends Play


Way of heart2

Everybody has friends sometime in their lives. Some stay, some pass through, some never come at all. Whatever the case may be, it’s not cool just having friends when you don’t see growth in this highly important and very special relationship.

Special, because observation demands it be known that romantic relationships so very often break into a million little pieces but a great friendship lingers on no matter what. This makes true friends hard to find and it will take effort to keep them once you’ve found them.

What Kind Of Effort?

It’s basically you investing your time and energy in their lives and, best feeling of all, seeing them invest back in yours. It isn’t really a ‘you do it first and only then will I’ kind of thing. Rather, true friends don’t wait for the other to start something, they grab the initiative by the horns and dance. They do this because they love having that person in their lives and aren’t going to be snobs about it and start assessing how much the other is investing in them.

What Are Their Roles?

a. Trust: There has to be that spark of trust between you two and that spark should sooner, not later, become a flame and then a fire of white-hot reliance that overcomes all your doubts, anxieties and fears in life. It’s all well and good to say ‘I can solve my own problems, I don’t need help’ but friends are there to help in ways you can never manage to do yourself. If people can’t understand the subtlety of that fact, they don’t deserve friends to begin with.

b. Honesty: What’s the point of trusting the other person if you can’t be honest with them? Lies are taking us over like a swarm of biblical locusts! We need to throw aside personal embarrassments and facts we think are ‘irrelevant’ or ‘insignificant’. Those very things are what make two friends get closer to each other. The main cause for lack of honesty is a sense of paranoia that keeps one from sharing a life-moment with another. Sooner or later the friendship, not watered by candor and trust, goes stale.

Way of heart1

c. The Extra Mile: Friends don’t sit around counting how much they’ve done for the other. They keep at it, going not just one extra mile but several and loving it, because they feel they’re doing it for someone so damn special they don’t have time to maintain account books. However, such ace mileage is sure to be affected if only one person does all the work. It takes two drivers to get this vehicle to the destination. When one rests, the other drives.

What Must You Do?

To put it in your face so you will never forget what you’re reading right now, YOU DO THE SAME THINGS as what you read above. 99% of the time you have got to BE a friend to KEEP a friend. If, say, you’re doing all those things under the ‘Roles’ heading above and you see the other person (guy or girl, doesn’t matter) not responding in like manner, then you get an idea that this friendship is doomed.

When all is said and done, the last thing you need to find yourself in is a lonely friendship. It’s actually a far better feeling being lonely for real than it is to have someone in your life who makes you go ‘Man, I’ve never felt this alone or neglected in my entire existence.’

way of heart3

How To Find That Perfect Friendship?

You must be crazy to think I have the answer to this question. There’s no such thing as a perfect friendship, come to think of it. However, in this modern world and the busy-ness of everyone in it, certain things can’t really be expected of friends like they could have been, say, fifty years ago.

On the other hand, there is one crucial fact you need to remember and put into practice. If you take nothing back from this post, take at least this with you. It’s a four letter word and it’s spelled…


You and your friend, NO MATTER WHAT (forgive me if I’m stepping on toes, but I gotta be honest despite what others may feel), must make time for each other. Busy with work/chores, family time, projects, travel, colleagues, nothing to talk or do… All these excuses need to be rendered extinct.

Friendship is a very powerful ingredient in the soup of Life. Anything that keeps two people from wanting to be in each other’s life spoils the broth. As mentioned earlier, loneliness kills more people everyday than most diseases and that’s not a small fact to digest.

When you have a friend who is there to get rid of that loneliness and, awesome feeling, goes beyond that role and gives you a bond worth nurturing, taking into consideration long distances and those that are a stone’s throw away, well… C’mon, surely you can take a little time off to water this magnificent fruit-bearing tree.

way of heart4

Speak Your Mind