3 Steps on How To Clear a Misunderstanding – Ways To Hope For Resolution When You’re Misunderstood


It’s not an easy state to be in when you’re misunderstood. This is one of few other feelings in the world that makes you feel downright terrible even if a stranger happens to misunderstand you. It’s hard to imagine what to do when someone close to you is on the other side of this hellish court, mistaking you and losing you from their lives because of a silly mistake, all because they couldn’t find ropes of logic flexible enough to wrap around your situation.

How to clear Misunderstanding

If you’re the victim of a legitimate misunderstanding, here are 3 practical steps you can attempt to try and patch things up and clear the misunderstanding.

Step 1 On How To Clear A Misunderstanding:

Directly Communicate With The Person Who Misunderstood You

Email them, use a chat feature to contact them or any other means you have at hand. They might most probably have ended up blocking you from messaging them, which means there is hope that they might get in touch with you in future – hey, they only blocked you, they didn’t delete you.

Phone them up, do so repeatedly if you have to, unless they’ve taken a restraining order on you. Head to their residence and knock on the door. Be polite and calm in your approach even though you’re the one who’s being mistaken and you have every right to break a vase or throw a punch. Avoid a fight and just say your part of the story in a composed manner.

These are some of the things you can do to communicate your side of the story to the person or people who have misunderstood your intentions.

You will definitely be feeling worthless during this time, your self-esteem levels will be nearly spent and any dreams of a future will crack or shatter, depending on how strong you are inside.

It does look like something a guilty criminal might feel, doesn’t it? This is especially true in the case of relationships, be it between friends or best friends, brothers or sisters, husbands, wives, relatives, and of course the occasional stranger who seems to have quite an emotional impact on you even though you don’t know them that well.

That’s how dangerously powerful a misunderstanding can make you feel, even if you’re, how do the lawyers put it, innocent of all charges. The sooner you share the truth, which you’ll be reading about soon, the faster you can put this nonsense behind you and salvage what good you can from what you could have lost. Just make all attempts to clear the misunderstanding.

How to clear Misunderstanding

Step 2 On How To Clear A Misunderstanding:

Tell Them The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth

This step won’t be as detailed as the last one, because its title pretty much speaks for itself. When you’re doing your communicating, as explained above, communicate the truth.

Listen carefully… This truth can be silly, awkward, abrupt, stupid, nonsensical, embarrassing, uncomfortable, seemingly irrelevant or even downright unbelievable. But say it anyway and say it with conviction.

If you really aren’t guilty about something, you have nothing to fear even though being misunderstood makes you feel so frightened about the future, hell even the next day and what it might hold for you. The only lifeboat you will have in these treacherous waters of wrong accusation is the truth, so hold onto it and never let it go.

Don’t change your truth-based opinions for anything or anyone, because at the end of the day you will just become another brick in the forgotten wall if you do not wield truth to try and absolve yourself and/or anyone else who is entangled in this mess of misunderstanding.

Step 3 On How To Clear A Misunderstanding:

The Waiting Game

Just sit back and wait. You’ll feel miserable, of course, you’ll avoid music, food, and even sleep might suddenly tend to hate you. You won’t walk with that jump in your step anymore. You will feel more paranoid than a CIA agent whose cover has been blown, and you happen to be innocent, for crying out loud. This is yet another visual example of how fatally sharp misunderstanding can be on the victim’s heart.

A couple days will feel like a couple weeks. You’ll experience all sorts of thoughts, some of it on suicidal lanes. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s one helluva storm. As with all storms, Nature finds a way to resolve it and balance things out again.

Read this carefully… Just as the other person or people don’t know that you did only good and had positive intent when you did something, you too shouldn’t be quick to assume what they are up to and then perform an act of sheer stupidity.

Take it easy, as much as you can manage it, and wait for facts to come before you decide upon or confirm anything. Remember that you still have not communicated your side of the story to them. Perhaps someday when they hear it, they’ll see how wrong they were and they’ll owe you an apology. You can’t assume it’s over till it’s really over.

In a strange twist of coincidence, two close buddies of mine (Donn and Morty; I nicknamed them so they get semi-privacy at least) shared an important line with me about ‘what to do when you’re being misunderstood’. They shared this with me when I was going through this ‘storm’ myself. I’ll paraphrase what they both said to me in one quote:

"Seems to me like you’re letting yourself get hurt. You’re making yourself feel terrible. The bad thing is that you can put as much energy as you want into changing this situation, but you will still be miserable. I know it’s hard, but maybe you need to let the other person or people do their thing. And maybe in the future things get better or not, I don’t know."

How to Clear Misunderstanding

In Case You’re Wondering…

Just in case you’re reading this and going, "Who gave you a therapy diploma that you can say such things? Don’t you realize that it hurts bad to be in these shoes? You make it sound like a DIY, dude! Whatchyoo thinking when you wrote this post, huh?!"

I reply with these two personal status notes…

Your Probable First Question: Josh, has a misunderstanding of apocalyptic proportions happened to you?

My Sure Answer: Yes.

Your Probable Second Question: Josh, did you find a resolution?

My Hopeful Answer: Donno yet. I’m in Step-3, and waiting like the desert does for rain.

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