Way Of The Heart – Guide 2 – Using Instincts In Love & Friendship

 

What Am I Going To Read Here?

In an earlier related post I mentioned how it’s best to avoid confrontation with a close someone in your life when you feel they aren’t treating you well. I described how that would only lead to a self-defense mode of arguing and, being a very human and understandable thing to do, the other person can’t be especially blamed for responding like that. I also mentioned how by confronting your baby or buddy you generate ‘force’ in the relationship making any change on their part prone to awkwardness and even further fights and misunderstandings.

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But…?

BUT, and that’s a big but (!), everybody is different, we’re all unique. This makes room for a whole chunk of possibilities namely what you must do in the case of that particular person. Whereas some people aren’t worth confronting others are.

Don’t get me wrong, if you try facing off against someone you barely know and if they happen to be the impatient non-understanding type you will create an emotional disaster of epic proportions leaving the both of you hateful and bitter rather than desiring positive change.

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So, What You’re Blabbering On About Is…

To confront a romantic partner or best friend won’t be easy. It will take plenty of stupidity and guts because those two seem to exist often together. Just like I shared in that related post, sit back, free your heart first and your mind next, empty them of any and all emotion trying to stealthily creep in when you’re just about to calm completely down and then…

Should I Or Shouldn’t I?

Plan on how to start the talk. Don’t keep throwing series of questions to which neither of you know the answers. Instead ask pertinent queries and stick to the most important disappointments. Fluff and continuous demands are never going to be useful and you’ll find out just that a few minutes into the conversation which will surely turn ugly.

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I’m In Way Over My Head Here

After your first step into this unknown and scary territory you simply need to LET GO. Feel the awkwardness, sense the blame, notice the distance, whatever else humanly happens and go with the flow.

Once you’ve started it the best aim on your mind and in your heart must be to bring the whole talk to a conclusion not cut it off midway. Whether that conclusion is going to be positive or negative it entirely depends on you and that other person and what kind of relationship you share.

After all, if they really want to stay in your life some stupid fight, argument or confrontation will hold no power over the relationship. You will see them trying to understand but, since they’re human, they’ll also try to defend why they did what they did. Here’s where you hold your breath and try to understand their version of things.

Anything Else Before I Take The Dive?

Such talks require a lot of give and take. You need to let the other person have their say and not just go on ranting and, if you’re on the phone or online, cut the connection. You must be fair to them, right? Even if they didn’t start it they’re involved in the confrontation.

They have as much right as you to share their take on the matter. Remember, the last thing both of you may need is to lose each other over weak facts, dumb misunderstandings and ridiculous feelings. You could be perfect as lovers or friends, so consider the confrontation to be an act of bonding and getting to know the other person on a different but better level. It is NOT intended to push them away.

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What’s The One Conclusion I Can Bring This Instance To?

As with all fights they only teach you to be stronger. There’s this immense feeling of relief you’ll sense after venting in this manner. Besides, sooooo many answers can be gotten in the process. The well chosen and properly timed confrontation will reinforce a relationship (romance as well as friendship) or it will give you enough proof to leave, take what good memories you got from it and just move on.

Image Credit: irvingsjourney.

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