The Art Of Saying You’re Sorry

 

You can never hear enough of this topic. I mean, it keeps changing, it varies with the times and the traditions people follow. In that case, it varies with the places people come from. Whatever the case, saying you’re sorry doesn’t require knowledge of rocket science for you to understand it. After all, you feel sorry not necessarily think you are. That feeling is essential, because it’s a feeling that’s going to help you understand how and when to apologize to someone.

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Why on Earth are you apologizing?

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If you have no idea what you’re sorry for, chances are you’re going to dig yourself deeper into whatever problem is facing you at the time and therefore make bigger blunders. You must have a clear head in times like this. Whether you’re apologizing just to reassure the other person, even though you’re in the right, or you’re sorry because you genuinely did the mistake in question, or perhaps you’re sorry you got caught! Just be sure of what you’re sorry for before you commit to saying it out loud.

Who’s the Person You’re Saying It To?

This is very important. Just as you won’t use the rag you employed to clean your car or bike as a napkin to wipe your mouth (if you do, then you have a lot to be sorry for!), there are different types of sorry’s for different people. When you need to apologize to your Mom, for instance, you have a very different tone and nature for which to say ‘I’m sorry’ unlike when you apologize to your girlfriend. In this fashion, there are myriad varieties, so make certain you know who you’re saying sorry to else risk sounding insincere, odd or downright stupid.

Are You Lying Or Arentchya?

I’m not endorsing faking an apology—God knows we’ve all done it sometime in our lives—but commit to one of the two parties. If you really wanna feel sorry for something you did to someone, then be sincere about it and don’t change tracks midway. There’s a heightened chance you’ll crash if you do and that can make the situation much much worse than it already is. If, on the other hand, you absitively posilutely have to lie using an apology as a front, then don’t have second thoughts, go right ahead and do it, otherwise you’re sure to get caught and hurt or anger the other person more than you can imagine.

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What About Animals?

Yeah, you read it right. If you have pets, no matter what they are—dogs, cats, birds, fish, snakes or whatever—remember they’re living things and, as a consequence, they too feel emotions in their own ways. Remember Point-3 above? Use it if you’ve done something to hurt your pet-companion in any way. You’ll be surprised how therapeutic it feels, not to verbally say you’re sorry but to show it in action because that’s how your pets understand you’re being sincere.

Regretting An Apology?

That rhetorical question has but one answer and that’s a big fat ‘No’! Never regret an apology because unlike proper statements a sorry is forever, it can’t be taken back and there’s no easy way to twist its meaning. You’re either sorry or you’re not, period. That in mind, the best option available to you is to move on. If you say ‘Damn, I wish I never apologized’ or perhaps you feel ‘Man, if I could only take it back. Why was I sorry at all?’ just stop, take a breather, relax. It’s over and all the regrets in the world won’t turn back time. Find a way to resolve it, sometimes another apology works fine, but otherwise, try something else or just stop trying before you make it worse. There’s an art to saying you’re sorry and, guess what, it’s simpler than you think. All you need to do is throw open your instincts and close your logic-door just a little bit.

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Image Credit: Leyram Odecram, csc1950.

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